Resistance and Limiting Beliefs – What’s Blocking You?
When you want something in your life – a new job, to lose weight, to get healthier, a better relationship, to be less anxious or less angry – and it’s not happening…
…you’ve got resistance.
Resistance is the act of blocking or stopping something from moving. The dictionary on my Mac defines resistance as…
“the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.”
Whenever you want to transform something in your life, attract something new, it helps a lot to identify the resistance that’s keeping you where you are.
Sometimes resistance is obvious.
Here’s an example from my life.
I wanted to lose weight. That was clear. But every night I had a craving for comfort food – starchy, fatty carbs like popcorn, pancakes, potato or corn chips.
Even though part of me wanted to lose weight, I wanted the nightly comfort food more.
I didn’t know what was under my craving for nightly comfort food, but I knew I had resistance about letting it go.
Other times you may be unaware you even have resistance.
You may claim that you want to double your income. You feel absolutely clear that you want to be earning twice as much money. You can’t imagine any reason you’d be feeling any resistance toward it.
But, if you find at the end of the year that your income is the same as last year, you can be sure that you have resistance toward increasing your income.
I recently sold my house and sold or gave away nearly all my stuff. Some of my resistance was obvious to me – like the painful emotions I felt when the low offer for my house came in.
But there were other layers of hidden resistance that took me by surprise. I didn’t know I had so much attachment to all my stuff!
My transition could have been smoother if I’d known upfront what types of inner resistance to look out for and to clear.
Generally, resistance comes in the form of long-held limiting beliefs.
If you’re already convinced about the need to change limiting beliefs, you might want to jump right to my article on Changing Beliefs with EFT.
Most of these beliefs were formed in your early childhood, when you were in a brainwashable state.
Between birth and the age of around 6, children’s brainwaves are in Alpha or Theta. In these states they accept the statements of those they see as authorities as The Truth.
The beliefs we form in childhood become the truths we live by.
These beliefs shape our reality.
We make interpretations of events and form our own life truths. For example, if a toddler drops something and her mother grimaces, the toddler may interpret the look on Mom’s face and conclude, “There’s something wrong with me.”
Or even, “I’m a bad person,” “I’m unreliable,” or “I can’t be trusted.”
These beliefs are more often limiting than they are empowering.
Beliefs can be fully conscious, but are often under the radar of our awareness, nearly unconscious.
Why would we be unconscious to our beliefs?
Because we are so close to them, beliefs are like wallpaper we see every day and soon don’t notice any more. This is why Gary Craig referred to our beliefs as “the writing on our walls.”
Here are some of the more common types of resistance in the form of limiting beliefs that can crop up and sabotage your desire for change and growth.
- It’s not safe; I need to stay safe
- I’m now worthy, good enough, lovable enough,
- I don’t deserve good things
- Something terrible will happen
- It’s greedy to want more
- More for me means less for others
- Others will resent me, be jealous
- Others won’t approve of me, will criticize me, judge me.
- I need other’s approval
- It’s not safe to shine, to stand out
- I need to struggle; life has to be a struggle
- I am a victim
- I am a martyr
- I am a savior
- I need to take care of everyone else before me
- I can do it better than anyone
- I need to work hard
- I can’t change
- I’m too old; I’m too young
- I missed my chance, it’s too late for me
- The economy is bad; it’s not the right time
- I don’t have the necessary resources – money, time, intelligence, training, credentials, creativity, help, friends, family, etc.
- I’m too screwed up by my past and I can’t get over it
- I can’t do hard things
- Failure is shameful
Being aware of common limiting beliefs is a powerful first step. When you are aware of them, it’s as if you have the first tool you need to unlock your resistance.
You may not yet have the key, but at least you have now identified the locked door.
As you know, insight without action won’t do much to help you change.
So in the comments below, start taking action by telling me two things:
- Which limiting beliefs do you notice slamming a door shut in your life?
- Is there a limiting belief that you know how and when it was formed for you?
p.s. Want to learn these methods so solidly you can change beliefs easily and quickly every day, so you continually move toward that healthier, happier, more prosperous you?
Check out the Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life class.