Overcome Self Doubt? Why You Don’t Want To
Feeling fear, uncertainty, doubt is natural – even healthy – and will never go away, as long as you’re alive . . . and intending to grow, evolve, create, stretch, speak out, be seen.
These these emotions are issues for all of us, but particularly for women entrepreneurs.
Why are fear, doubt and uncertainty a good sign?
The best source I know to help you understand the nature of doubt, fear and uncertainty is Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles.
This book will help you undersand the universal nature of fear and doubt cropping up when you’re growing, learning and changing.
And it will help you understand why it’s so essential to push beyond those feelings (or live side by side with them) and still get out there. STRUT YOUR STUFF!
When you understand this, you’ll see that hope and doubt can and will live together in you. And below I’m going to teach you a way to give hope a boost, so it’s continually stronger than your doubt.
If you have overwhelming doubt, you’re tied up in a straight jacket. You can’t move. You can’t think. And you cannot produce.
In the state of overwhelming doubt, you’re in fight or flight. There’s no chance of creativity in that state.
So you need to ways for calming your anxious mind and getting out of fight or flight ASAP. And Tapping is THE best tool I know to remove that kind of anxiety. (If you’re brand new to Tapping, here’s where you can start your education.)
In a nutshell, Tapping (also called EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique) is a tool that combines the knowledge of ancient Chinese Acupuncture – the energy meridians – with modern psychology.
Through tapping on the meridian points, while you face a problem, you can bring about rapid change.
You can feel better fast, and move from anger, confusion, overwhelm, fear to peace, wisdom, clarity and enthusiasm.
Tapping sounds miraculous . . . and it truly is. You’ve got to try and experience its power to believe it.
Back to the Pain
And here’s the other thing about doubt and fear.
Don’t expect to overcome doubt or overcome self doubt for good. As long as you’re alive, and especially as long as you’re reaching and stretching, you’ll be partnering with doubt.
So instead of running from doubt, seeing it as something to be avoided at all costs, befriend it a little. Say something like,
“Hey doubt! You’re back. Thanks for reminding me that I’m on the edge again. I don’t need or want your advice and I want you to sit quietly, but I do appreciate the reminder that I’m reaching for something bigger than I was before. Thanks for that.”
So what can you do about an ocean of doubt?
You can acknowledge your doubts and fears (They get even stronger when we try to ignore them or push them away. They’re like a fungus that grows best in the dark.).
Name them aloud.
Then use Tapping to reduce the stress response when you think of them. And finish by tapping in empowering, strengthening, confidence-building words.
Because I’m a solo entrepreneur . . . because I’m always reaching for something new, something different . . . because I MUST grow and change to thrive . . . because personal growth, spiritual growth is at the top of my list of priorities . . . because I challenge myself on purpose . . . it means I’m always living on the edge.
And living on the edge just invites fear and doubt. I finally realized that essential truth.
So, since I cannot give up the inner urge to grow and change and create, I must learn creative ways to accept the fear and doubt and keep them in check.
And since I’m a Tapper, what I created is my Daily Doubt and Fear Tap. Every morning, after reading my goals aloud (which stirs up those doubts and fears), and before writing them down (I do this daily too), I tap on my doubts and fears.
I’m going to share the tapping script with you that I’m currently using . . . but I encourage you to write your own, or at least adapt mine to more closely fit your doubts and fears.
And remember – there’s NOTHING WRONG with having fear, uncertainty, doubt.
They are human, natural, normal . . . and a good sign that you’re moving forward, taking risks, stretching for the light.
Tapping on them daily helps you remember that and to feel encouraged by the fact that you’re feeling fear. The alternative is to see the fear as a sign that there’s something wrong with you (there’s not).
Here’s my current script (I change it often, so it remains fresh and meaningful to me). It’s pretty long – LOL it needs to be with all my doubts and fears!
Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt Daily Tap
Tapping continually on the Karate Chop point.
Even though I feel lots of fear and doubt about myself and my life, I accept myself completely.
Even though I feel inadequate to pull off all my big dreams and goals, I give myself a big pat on the back for having them!
Even though I’m afraid I’m actually failing and that I don’t have what it takes to succeed, I accept that this fear likely indicates I’m actually on the edge of a breakthrough and I honor this battle.
Tapping through your favorite points:EFT Tapping Points
I can’t do this stuff
Who do I think I am!
These dreams are WAY too big for me
I’ll end up broke
I’ll be begging from my family
I’ll be destitute
I’ll get hurt for sure.
Stumble and fall
I don’t think I can do it
Probably more than once
Best thing to do would be give up right now
Pick smaller dreams
Easy little ones
Stuff I’ve done before
Succeeded at before
That would be safe
Better to stay safe and small
And be sure to get everyone’s approval
No one will criticize me
No one will be jealous
I don’t have to change
Step out of my comfy box
I don’t have to risk
I don’t have to grow
I don’t have to shine
I’d rather just hide out here, in the shadows.
Whew, that feels much better
Never really wanted to be awesome after all.
Take a deep breath. Shake it off.
Tap again . . .
That’s a bunch of BS.
I DO want to be awesome.
And I don’t want to hide.
Yea, it’s risky to try things
To go for big dreams
In front of other people
But what’s the alternative.
Hide out all my life?
I deserve awesomeness!
I deserve to shine!
AND, I have gifts to share
That won’t be shared if I don’t step up
People to serve
Who won’t be served without my contribution
I can win this inner battle with doubt and fear
Even if I have to fight it again every day
I’m tougher than this.
I’m not giving up so easily.
I want to discover what’s in me
What I was born to do
Who cares if it’s not safe to change
I’m changing anyway
Who cares if I’m risking failing
It’s worth it
I’m worth it
I’m going for it, no matter what
I might fall and fail sometimes
But that’s OK
Because it means I’m stretching
I’m willing to live in the light
And be awesome
I am worthy of my dreams
My dreams are worthy of me
And I’m going for it
Yes, I’m scared
That’s the sign I’m on the edge of my comfy nest
I’ve got a toe out of my safe little box
That I’m doing battle with the BEAST
It’s ok to be scared
Thank you fear
You’re showing me I’m alive
And you’re bringing me this energy
And this courage to BE ME.
I’d LOVE to hear from you about this script. Like it? Hate it? Got one of your own to share? Share your opinion and results with everybody reading this. WE all benefit from your experience.
Much love for you and your fear, uncertainty, doubt – and your passion, creativity, gleaming heart!