It’s scary to have pulled up my roots, let go of nearly all my possessions and set out on my own.
And I’m realizing just how much I needed to embrace change to be able to get this far.
All this prompted me to make a tapping script for you, to help you let the changes you crave be a little easier to make.
Change is inevitable and we all do it. But for some of us, at some times in our lives, change is very, very slow.
Fear of change keeps us from growing. It keeps us safe, and it keeps us small.
Even when we don’t particularly like where we are and we feel stuck, fear of change can keep us there. We often feel cramped and smaller than we know we can be, and yet this fear of change keeps us in that tight, cramped, small space.
It’s as if there’s a vibrant, expressive, lively, joyful and creative being that’s limitless.
And we’ve crammed it into a tight, cramped space. We’re too big for the space, but our fear keeps us from breaking out.
It actually makes sense that we would fear change. Early in our history, when we were surviving in the wild, change meant possible danger or death. If we ate a new thing, that wasn’t typically eaten, we could die! If we ventured out into an unknown region, we could get lost, injured, captured or killed by enemies or animals.
Let’s face it. Change can be dangerous!
On the other hand, if there weren’t people exploring and trying new things, we wouldn’t have survived either.
Our diets might have been so limited we would have starved or died of malnutrition. Our territories would have been too small for our growing numbers. New inventions would never have been made. As a people, we would have stayed ignorant and limited.
There’s something creative in each of us that craves expression.
We each express our creativity in different ways – in music, writing, painting or any artistic expression, by cooking, raising children, in business, by the way we communicate and help others, our clothing, decorating our bodies or our homes – there are countless ways to be creative.
Creativity is one of the primary forms of personal growth. I believe it’s one of the highest forms of personal expression.
And to be continually creative means to continually invite change.
If we’re scared to change, we can’t be creative. We can’t express our creativity to the degree it craves expression.
Fear of Change Quiz
Here are some questions to ask yourself that will help pinpoint where you’re afraid to change.
Sit down. Get grounded and centered by tunint into the sensations of your body. Notice your feet. Notice your skin. And all the places your skin touches something.
Ask yourself the following questions. It can help to write the answers you hear. (Writing helps you focus on the questions and answers and keeps your mind from wandering.) But don’t stop yourself from asking, even if you’re not going to write the answers.
1. If I felt secure and courageous, what would I be doing with my life that I’m not?
2. If nothing was holding me back, what change would I most like to make in my life?
3. If I felt optimistic and fearless, what change would I consider making in my life?
4. Invite an image to appear that represents your need to stay small and your fear or change.
5. Now invite an image to appear that represents you feeling secure, courageous, free and your willingness to change.
6. The reasons I’m scared to change are… (list them).
7. My greatest fear of change is that…
When I did this exercise and visualized my fears, I saw them as flies or gnats that landed on me occasionally. I saw them as very minor annoyances, nothing to be dwelled on, thought of again or taken seriously.
That was a great image for me, because unless I’m being swarmed by flying bugs, I just ignore them and go about my business. Yet, so often I allow my fears to loom larger than my dreams and plans. My image helped me see that they don’t have to distract me at all.
You can use the answers to the questions in your own custom tapping sequence. The sequence that follows is a good one to incorporate them into.
I’m using my Growing Up Method with the three sections I call Dumping, Dreaming and Deciding. For a tapping point refresher see this short EFT Tapping Points video. For full instructions on how to do EFT, see the EFT Manual.
Dumping Round – Set Up
Tapping continuously on the karate chop point, say the following.
Even though I feel scared of change, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.
Even though change change is too scary for me, I love and accept myself just the way I am.
Even though I’m scared of change, I accept myself and all my feelings.
Eyebrow: I’m scared of change.
Side of Eye: I’m too scared to change.
Under Eye: Change is really scary to me.
Under Nose: The change I dream of making is way too scary.
Chin: It’s dangerous to change!
Collarbone: It’s life threatening to change!
Under Arm: I’m too scared to change.
Top of Head: Change is just plain scary.
Now tap another round and add in your own specific fears of change.
Eyebrow: If I changed, I’m afraid…
Side of Eye: And I’m afraid…
Under Eye: If I changed, I’d be scared of…
Under Nose: And I’m scared of…
Chin: It’s safer to stay where I am.
Collarbone: It’s safer not to change.
Under Arm: Maybe I don’t want to change!
Top of Head: Maybe I like staying safe and small.
Continue tapping and adding in the image you had of your fear of change, and anything else that came up for you representing being afraid to change.
Before moving to the Dreaming Round, let’s do a round of Refusal tapping. It can feel great to flat out refuse to do the thing that part of you thinks you should do and another part of you is resisting.
Eyebrow: I don’t want to change.
Side of Eye: It’s too scary.
Under Eye: I don’t have to change.
Under Nose: So what if change is good for me!
Chin: I’m not changing!
Collarbone: And you can’t make me.
Under Arm: I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do.
Top of Head: I make my own decisions.
When you feel ready, move to the Dreaming round. I’ve thrown a little argument tapping into it too.
Dreaming Round – Set Up
Even though I’m still not sure I want to change, what would I be dreaming about if I felt secure and courageous?
Even though there’s still a large part of me afraid to change, I love and accept myself and all my feelings.
Even though part of me is still afraid to change, what if I could relax and know I don’t have to change?
Eyebrow: I’m too scared to change.
Side of Eye: What if I’m not?
Under Eye: What if I could change just a little?
Under Nose: What if I could change gradually, at a comfortable pace?
Chin: What if I could make a small change and still feel safe?
Collarbone: No, I don’t want to change – and I don’t have to!
Under Arm: Well, actually, maybe I do.
Top of Head: What if I could make changes at my pace and be comfortable with them?
As always, repeat any of the previous rounds, until you feel ready to move on. This is especially true before moving on to the Deciding round. You’ll know if you weren’t ready to move on if you hear those inner rebuttals (“no way,” or “yea, right”) or feel a physical objection (physical tightening, usually in the gut, chest or neck) when you say you “choose” to do something.
It is perfectly OK to stop with the Dreaming round. You’ve planted a seed of change that will continue to grow.
And, if you’re feeling open to asserting your ability to change, do the next round, Deciding
Deciding Round – Set Up
Even though I may still have a little reservation about changing, I’m ready to be willing to change.
Even though there may still be a tiny part of me holding on to staying the same, I’ve decided that I am willing to change.
Even though it would be safer to stay safe and small, I choose to embrace that part of me that wants to be whole and explore what’s possible for me.
Eyebrow: I’ve decided I’m ready to change.
Side of Eye: I choose to change.
Under Eye: No, I can’t. I have to stay safe!
Under Nose: Actually, I believe I can change and still be safe.
Chin: I choose to change at a pace that feels comfortable and safe.
Collarbone: I’ve decided that change can feel comfortable to me.
Under Arm: I choose to look inside when I’m feeling afraid of change, and talk to those parts of me that are afraid to change.
Top of Head: I’ve decided that change is healthy and I want healthy change.
And it’s always helpful to add a round of positive affirmations about yourself, at the end of any EFT round. Here are some you might use:
I am strong.
I am capable.
I am resourceful.
I am safe.
I am secure.
I am creative.
I embrace change.
I am loving.
I am lovable.
I love myself.
Wishing you easy, positive, healthy change,
from El Nido, Philippines